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Chapter Two- Arrival in Bali- Now Ready for Viewing- Click Here
Chapter Three- Settling in at Gandra's House- to View- Click Here
Chapter Four- Acquiring My Bali Senses- to View- Click Here
Chapter Six- A Little Bali in all of us- to View- Click Here Chapter Seven- Wwoofing in Wonderland- to View- Click Here
Chapter Eight- The Hills are Alive- to View- Click Here
Chapter Nine- There's No Place Like Home- Click Here |
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I am going to Bali. How did this happen? By: Suzen
There is really no concise or reasonable answer to this question, but I have been asked to give the best explanation that I can. So I will begin with January 13th, 2008. I had been invited by a friend to a VisionMapping workshop presented by Lore Raymond (www.loreraymond.com). I went for my friend -- as I had only a mild interest in creating a "vision board." So I respectfully listened to some Feng Shui principles, which I had been exploring on my own, and answered some rather sobering questions regarding values and "living life with no regrets." This is turning out to be much better than I anticipated! I thought to myself. As a bonus, I was surrounded by the vibrational energy of 18 powerful women and one very secure man.
Then, I sat on the floor like an 11 year-old with my poster board, glue and scissors. The middle of the room was piled high with an assortment of colorful and interesting magazines that we all contributed. We sat in a big circle and were invited to spend the next two hours finding our joy. Wow! We flipped through the magazines, and when a page spoke to us we ripped it out. After a couple of hours, we stopped ripping and began to sort through our images and to cut and paste the ones we truly couldn't resist onto our boards. There seemed to be no one in the room but me and the visual adventure of creating my world the way I wanted it to look.
My friend and I intended to leave at 1 pm, but didn't leave until after 5 pm -- and then reluctantly. We have had two reunions of our VisionMapping group since, to review our maps and reveal what wonderful changes are transpiring in our lives and what requests we have for ourselves and for the Universe/God.
My VisionMap evolved over the first couple of weeks. I cleaned it up a little to reflect more of
(photograph- right- compliments of Susan Spilman- photograher and Bali guide)
Each day I gazed upon my VisionMap and meditated with my map in mind; each day, as I passed by the map and drew comfort from it, I began, in my mind, to understand what my heart was telling me. When I pasted the pictures and words on the board, my heart knew what I really wanted. But the road between my heart and head has always been a tough one to navigate. Fortunately, my VisionMap provided the path, the road, and the vehicle. After several weeks, my head started to get the message -- as I gazed at the pictures I was finally forced to realize ... ah, so this is what you want! It was a lifestyle change, an adventure, something different. I wanted to do something new, something big and Bali fit the bill.
An added benefit from this VisionMapping workshop is the friendships I have made. These precious and valuable friends are now vital pieces of my journey. I could never have predicted this fortunate result, but the VisionMapping workshop is not a one-time event -- it is an ongoing relationship of individual journeys. All students receive inspiration and encouragement from each other. And I have no doubt that many of these friendships will be life-long!
ON TO BALI
I have been on an inward journey for a couple years now - although sometimes it is slow going, I have felt the forward motion. Around the first of March, I decided to go on a three day silent meditation. I spend a lot of time alone on most weekends, so I thought that a weekend of meditation would be a breeze. I should have realized from the rules: "have all your food in house ... no driving or calling anyone," what I was in for. Only two books were allowed: the one guiding me (I chose Susan Piver's "How Not To Be Afraid of Your Own Life") and one of a spiritual nature ("The Miracle of Mindfulness," from the Buddhist monk Thicht Nhat Hanh), along with a notebook and pen. The author of my guide book, Susan Piver, instructed me to set up a little altar with a candle and a special object. I chose a shell -- the shape reminds me of the swirl of the universe.
At 5 pm on Friday I commenced my weekend. I meditated, journaled -- with some help from guided questions -- and did free writing. In between meditation and writing, I took walks, read from my book and rested - and that was it! By Saturday afternoon I was restless, irritated, and could concentrate only on the glass of wine I wasn't allowed to have later that evening. I suddenly found how attached I was to the little distractions of every day life. CDs, radio, neighbors, and SHOPPING were all unavailable. Introspection and quiet time was fine for me -- as long as I could say "when" and go make a phone call when I got bored. The discipline of pushing past the discomfort was not an easy task, or a pleasant one but this is where the value was found for me.
From Thict Hanh I learned the simple concept of "being completely in the moment." According to Hanh, if you are washing dishes and thinking only of your cup of tea when the dishes are done, you are not alive during the washing of the dishes. And, moreover, if you are not present while washing the dishes, you probably will not be present while drinking your tea. "Thus we are sucked away into the future -- and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life." I sat on my balcony, looking at a delicate green leaf -- one that I had "seen" hundreds of times -- hearing Thict's words echoing in the breeze: "It is autumn here and the golden leaves falling one by one are truly beautiful. Taking a 10 minute walk in the woods, watching my breath and maintaining mindfulness, I feel refreshed and restored. Like that, I can really enter into a communion with each leaf."
By Saturday evening, I had grown calm. I slept deeply. When I woke Sunday, feeling rested and cleansed, I wrote: It is a day of new beginnings, It is a day of intentions. It is a day of my own. It is a day to begin to follow my higher self--the eternal Susan--to places I have been afraid to dream of. I want to align with my higher self I will align with the eternal Susan. I am aligned with my higher self--the eternal Susan.
OPEN TO SOMETHING NEW
However, the following week I became restless again -- I was frustrated, and didn't like myself very much. Two weeks later, I came down with a four-day fever. I am infrequently sick and rarely miss work, but found myself unable to work from Tuesday through Friday. On Friday, I cried all day -- not a hurting cry, but a releasing cry. My life flashed before me over an 8 hour period. I looked out the window and felt as I did when I was 8 years-old and as the day progressed, I experienced life from other ages. All of this was misty and vague. What it meant I didn't know, and honestly, I didn't seek to know.
On Monday, I took a walk on the beach. I realized that over the past two weeks I had
By the end of that week I had determined that I was moving to Bali. For how long? I still have no idea. But I knew where I wanted to go, and that was a start. I had read the article and ads by Susan Spilman in the Women Taking Care of Business website (WomenTCB.com) who lives in Bali and also has a home in St. Petersburg. I had never met Susan, but had friends that knew her. On Friday morning, I called her only to find that she was away until Monday. I had to live through the weekend KNOWING I was going to Bali but having yet to introduce myself to the person I was going with! We met on the following Tuesday and immediately began to plan my move to Bali.
Everything has fallen into place in the most wonderful way -- I have had no fear and virtually no obstacles to overcome. My landlord has amiably and enthusiastically released me from my lease. My boss has graciously accepted my notice. My family and friends have been supportive and encouraging.
And what about that group of dreamers, who met last January, as strangers, to create VisionMaps? They're now my dear friends and like-minded spiritual travelers, who send me off to Bali with their love and well wishes.
I am overcome with gratitude and joy. I AM TRULY LIVING MY LIFE WITH NO REGRETS!
Suzen leaves for Bali on May 14, 2008. She is planning to cut her hair and leave with one suitcase, a backpack, computer and a camera. We will keep in touch with her and have established a Blog to document her travels and allow you to comment directly to Suzen or ask questions.
Photo right- Suzen's new hairstyle! Just before leaving for Bali.
Click Here to View Photos from Suzen's Farewell Party!
Click Here to view the blog- make comments and contact Suzen in Bali. |
what I wanted to project. I replaced a couple of pictures and took out all but one word. It looked neat and clean and felt very peaceful and comfortable to me. Our teacher encouraged us to put our maps where we could see them every day.
experienced a "spiritual detox." Through meditation and reading, I had faced my old beliefs and confronted a few very familiar limitations that I had apparently chosen to live with rather than to grow from! I realized on this Monday that I had let go of some of the beliefs and limitations that restricted me over the years. I believe this is what the weeks of unpleasant feelings and the fever was all about -- representing a rather intense period of introspection. And then, release. I knew very clearly that now I had room for something new -- something big.
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