Nancy Rispoli:  Transcending Tragedy

        One horrible evening, as I was leaving the premises after work, I was attacked and violently beaten. After delivering a final kick to my face as I lay on the ground, I was left for dead.

In the course of the next 5 years, I had 5 major jaw surgeries.  My jaw was wired shut 3 times, I was temporarily paralyzed on the left side of my face, and I couldn't chew food.  For most of my twenties my life became focused on doctors, surgery, therapy, and healing from very serious injuries.  I was also subjected to emotionally draining legal battles and serious financial hardship.  There were depositions, court dates, and many legal disappointments.  Furthermore, because I was refused Workman's Comp (for nearly eight years) and had no medical insurance, I spent the majority of my time in the county Social Service medical office, where I waited endless hours, sometimes daily, for referrals for treatment. 

     Throughout my teens and twenties I lived unconsciously, self-medicating with alcohol and drug use.  Essentially, I was running away from my anger, my fears, and my pain.  I was a victim in every sense of the word, living my life in blame, resentment and self-pity. But as impossible as it may seem, I always believed I was special and that there was an important purpose to my life.  I don't know for certain, but perhaps that thought enabled me to endure all of the abuse I have suffered in my life.  At any rate, I knew I had a message to send to all women.  I want women to know that each one of us has the power to choose to create the life we wish to have, despite severe challenges.  I also want to set an example by living my life to the fullest in a positive, productive way.  At some point along the way, I discovered that the negative emotions I was feeling wasn't serving a purpose, so I adopted the belief that the best "revenge" would be to for me to become successful and happy in my own right.  Just what propelled me to forge ahead, I'll never know for sure; but maybe for the grace of a higher power, I knew instinctively that I had to forge ahead, rather than focusing on my fears.  It was about having a basic desire to not only survive, but to thrive.  And I did just that.

At 32, I decided to sing-yes, sing-professionally.  With very little support, I built a small but thriving business singing jazz standards and DJing at country clubs, weddings and parties.  A few years later, I discovered a meditation group called Ishaya's Ascension, whose techniques I learned over the course of a weekend workshop, and chose to utilize.  This really was the significant turning point in my life.  Basically, I learned that when a downward-spiraling thought comes to me, I can choose to replace it with a healing thought.  For me, in choosing an "Ascension Attitude" (or thought) of praise, gratitude, or love, I am able to, first and foremost, stop the endless looping of negative and self-defeating mind chatter and experience the silence within.  In that silence, regret for the past and fear of the future become non-existent and I am aware that all Power and Healing is in the present moment-in the pure joy of the Here and Now.  In this space, I am able to release the thoughts and feelings that don't serve my highest good, such as guilt, shame, worry and self-judgment.  Stress simply melts away, and in its place resides only peace.  This "meditational" practice has been so instrumental in my own healing process that, within the first year of using it, I was able to successfully come off of my anxiety and depression medications, a huge feat for me. 

At this point in my life, even though I still face challenges, I no longer live in blame, resentment and self-pity, and for the most part, choose to take full responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings in every moment.  I am no longer a victim, but a self-empowered woman living consciously.  While there are people in my life now who truly and sincerely support me, I have come to realize that I don't feel a need to be "rescued" by anyone, but that I can, through my own efforts, achieve the life that I desire.  I also have an amazing 13-year-old daughter, and I strive to help her realize a sense of self-worth and self-love that can only come from within her.

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Listen- "We're Alright" Click Play Button Above

    Though I still sing and DJ professionally, my greatest triumphs to date are the beautiful inspirational songs I have co-written (with Steve Geyer) and recorded.  I have always wanted to compose melodies and write lyrics, as I grew up in a very musical environment.  When I met Steve in January of 2006, I was presented with the perfect opportunity to further express myself through co-creating original songs.  Steve, a long-time composer and music instructor, and I would talk endlessly about philosophy, which ultimately resulted in our working together as a song-writing team.  Steve has been, and is now, a very warm, caring and sensitive individual, and together we have supported each other in both our personal and professional lives.  Steve will tell you that my lyrical style-at least, in many of our songs-often incorporates elements of seeing the truth in a person or situation, triumph over adversity, and the realization of self-empowerment.  I have three personal favorites among the numerous originals we have written:  "Set Your Feelings Free" is about a woman who, as a little girl, was not allowed to feel her feelings and ultimately overcomes this.  "Live In The Moment" is about appreciating the here and now, and is a reflection of my Ascension experiences.  "We're Alright" is a lullaby from a mother to her daughter following a painful divorce.  These songs really have a life of their own and are so powerful that when I sing them in a public venue, I witness the emotional connection that women, in particular, experience upon hearing this music.  It is my desire and intention that I continue this work and that a great number of women are aided in the path of their own healing processes through knowing about my story and experiencing these songs.

Every challenge has but a gift for you in its hands... what you choose to do with it is entirely up to you, and only you.